your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
