you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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