we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
