You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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