i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
