What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
