By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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