so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
