I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
