i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
