So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
