I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
