I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize