i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i now understand why vodka
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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