New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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