I look better un-naked...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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