I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
