Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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