Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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