I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
