lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
