I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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