She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You can't special order awesome
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
