so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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