did you get engaged???
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
