You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
