If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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