In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
