dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
