I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
