I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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