but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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