She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
