i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
