Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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