My friends, they love my intelligence
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize