Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
