You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
