Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize