All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
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