I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
