I've blown a few things in my day
Is it because I queefed?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
