i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
