One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
