im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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