Got a toothbrush?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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