I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
