u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm passing your future prison.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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