Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
