could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
