Four minutes until I can fart!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
