I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
