I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
