did you get engaged???
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
