Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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