Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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