i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize