His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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