new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize