Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
